Hello again. I posted here once last week and planned on putting up a tea review and then a fashion post, but this last week has been one of the hardest times of my life.
I have been around horses for almost as long as I can remember. Not many people get to say that, and I consider myself lucky every day. The first two that impacted my life in a big way were Blaze and her best buddy Bubba. Bubba passed away three years ago, and it was hard for me back then because I had already been removed from her for a while. I was finishing up my junior year at SVA in the city when my mother told me we had to put her down. I remember being so upset, and very worried about Blaze. The two of them couldn’t stand to be separated for any length of time. You would have to take both of them out to the field from the barn together for them to be calm…what was Blaze supposed to do without her other half? Mom said she reacted as, I think, almost any animal would. Confused, then understanding.
On April 16th, Blaze left this world, and left a hole in my heart.
Blaze has been in my family since I was very little. I don’t know the specifics, but as I said before, I can’t really imagine my life before her. As I grew older she taught me more about being around horses, listening to them, and understanding them. She also taught me that no two horses are the same. She had such an amazing (although tough at times) personality. She would give you hugs, nudge your pocket where you were storing treats to give her during your visits (she knew exactly where I kept them every.single.time), and whinny when you’d call her name as you entered the barn. She was my (biggest) best friend.
I made a Facebook post last week about how it is hard for me to describe all of my feelings in words. That still holds true, but I felt that I might be able to flesh them out a bit more here, and I also didn’t want our lovely followers to think I was being some sort of lazy bum.
I have been lucky enough to have a very supportive and loving group of friends and family members who flooded me with texts and calls once they found out about Blaze. I wanted to share two very special gifts that I have received in the last week with you all. If any of you have lost a pet (or a loved one of any sort), these might help you like they are helping me.
My friend Morgan and I have known each other just about as long as Blaze and I knew each other. When she heard about Blaze’s passing she drew this beautiful illustration of the two of us. She currently makes her living drawing beautiful pet portraits for various clients. She has done many portraits to honor furry friends who have passed away, and if you are missing a special someone, or know of someone who has lost a loved one I would highly recommend commissioning her. She sent this to me and it gave me the most bittersweet feelings. It’s perfect.
This charm bracelet was given to me by my friend Carolyn. When she got the news she took it upon herself to create this especially for me. It has a few different horse charms on it, along with some flowers and the two heart charms. The big heart that says ‘Blaze” on it also has a horse engraved on the back of it, and the heart lock right above it has ‘In Peace’ engraved on the other side. I will probably wear this until the beautiful rope breaks and I need to replace it. Now I can keep my Boo with me every day, right on my wrist.
This is probably the best I that I can write at this point in time. The healing process is going to take a long time. All I know is that Blaze is no longer in any pain. She lived a full life and was loved by everyone who helped to care for her. I just wish I got to give her a proper good-bye.