If you can guess who wrote the following guest post, I will be shocked.

Great news guys! Changing the world and being BFF with Barack Obama will not get in the way of Kal Penn’s movie career! I know what you’re thinking: how did we get this lucky? I’m guessing because even Barry himself can’t go eight years without seeing one of Kal’s fantastic films. He prob also has a soft spot for stoner jokes and Neil Patrick Harris.

Warner Brothers announced today that they are green lighting “A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas,” which will be released on November 5, 2010 (what a great way to blow off steam after the midterm elections!) You know what that means! Bong hits under the mistletoe, NPH being his usual crazy self and other hijinx that only Roldy and Kumar could pull off.

My dream plotline would somehow involved getting high, stealing Santa’s sleigh and being pursued by the police while NPH tags along. And throw in some extreme sports fans and hookers for good measure. Sounds like Oscar gold to me!

I was just thinking the other day, “Wow, I haven’t blogged about Harold, Kumar, or Harold and Kumar go to White Castle in, like, forever.” So luckily it turns out something big happened a few days ago that remedies this problem. Harold cut his hair! JK/Psych. With the real story, here’s “Ali”:

Okay guys, as you’ve probably heard by now Kal Penn—better known as Kumar, or even better known as the most gorgeous man to ever eat a vegetarian Crave Case at White Castle [ed note: if Bridget got the sex change operation she's been vying for, she could rival him; she would make an attractive vegetarian she-male]—just got a job in the White House. This is fantastic for several reasons:

First, it means that Obama is pretty cool. How many of our presidents do you think actually saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?  Actually I take that back, I could see GWB being all over that stupid, stoner humor.  But I bet Bush didn’t get the racial undertones, while Obama totally understood where Roldy and Kumar were coming from.

Secondly, Kumar’s hire further diversifies politics. First it was a black president, then it was a handful of Chinese American cabinet appointments, and now it’s an Indian American becoming associate director in the White House office of public liaison! Has any other Administration looked this much like a Benetton ad?

Thirdly, this means that Kumar will be living in Washington, D.C. It means that I could potentially run into him at a bar and we could fall in love and get married.  Or else I could get him drunk, “forget” a condom and entrap him. Either way, we end up together 4ever!

Maybe in Ali’s next blog, she could explain what an “associate director in the White House office of public liaison” does. If it has anything to do with deciphering the symptoms of a seemingly complex and unexplainable illness within just an hour, then I totally get why Obama hired him. Also, another note to Ali: I hear pinholes are pretty effective.

Dear President-elect Obama. Congratulations! Enjoy these cookies I made you.

Sorry you couldn’t make my training session I had planned. It would have been real fun. Instead I’ve written up a list of tips to make the transition go smoothly. Consider this a George W. Bush cheat sheet to being president!

So, this is your office. To the left of your desk is the photocopier. It makes copies of things that you want more of. Sometimes it gets jammed for no reason at all. Just kick it and it should start working again. To the right of that is the corner. If your relationship with Biden is anything like mine with Cheney, you may spend some time there.

Say hello to Rita. She’ll help you get business cards made. You know, with your name and title on it. It’s a hell of a lot of paperwork, but they’ll get you to the front of any line—a club, the pizza ride at Chuck E Cheese. Also get acquainted with the guys from US intelligence. They’ve got the…best…gossip. Also, they’re really smart?

Open the drawers to the desk. That’s where I keep my video collection. I’ll be sending for it later, but if you want you can have my copy of Love Actually. I realized Billy Bob Thornton’s character is supposed to be me, and now I don’t want it anymore. You can also have Independence Day; I’ve seen it too many times.

I know I’m forgetting some things, but you’ll pick it up as you go along. Check out the signed headshot I left you—my number is on the back, in case of emergencies.

Best,
President Bush