This is not a joke. It’s not even an exaggeration. Last night I dreamt of Marc Jacobs–designed cookware. Could this be an amazing idea for the Marc Jacobs brand? Or, a sign that I have a brain tumor? You decide.

And now a message from DAN KOHLER, in which he explains the tenets of Yacht Punk. This is an initial exploration of the style and attitude, so more specifications may come with time.

MANIFEST-O — Let it be known that the following document marks the beginning of a MOVEMENT.

Item 1: the YACHT PUNK

The YACHT PUNK (heretofore denoted by the letter Y) is more than a person.  It is an ethos.

* the Y is all class
* the Y is subversive
* the Y wears his/her clothing in the classic cuts defined by (but not limited to) Ralph Lauren and Lacoste, and flaunts his/her individuality through the incorporation of non-traditional colours and trimmings

-the Y wears green suede boating shoes

* the Y owns more navy blazers than sweatshirts
* the Y is at home in clubs, be they “country” or “dance”
* the Y likes to cause trouble, so long as no one is hurt
* the Y is well traveled, knowing by heart the following cities: Paris, London, New York and Downtown Tokyo
* the Y hangs vintage maps on his/her walls, of places both familiar and exotic

-the Y does not distinguish for guests which locales are familiar to the Y and which are exotic

* the Y can be messy at times, but never dirty
* the Y reads over-sized magazines, many of which are difficult to find
* the Y judges, but does not vocalize
* the Y has seen more of the world than the United States
* the Y likes traditional American snack foods (nachos, pizza, chips, cookies) made with artisanal ingredients
* the Y enjoys a quiet filthy joke made in private at a classy event such as a ball or gala
* the Y is proud to have attended public school (rarely bringing up in conversation the numerous A.P. and college level classes taken during said public school career)
* the Y likes drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike) and is often aware of new bottled juices and waters before the masses
* the Y does not wear sports-wear outside of the gym

-the Y belongs to a local gym, not one of these fitness chains

* the Y enjoys the weather, so long as it does not interfere with the Y’s plans
* the Y picks his/her pumpkins at a farm, not a store
* the Y does not claim to like all types of music just to appear amiable

-the Y prefers music from Scandinavia

* the Y is good at packing
* the Y is a member of many fictitious bands
* the Y does not enjoy video games made after 1996
* the Y used to play chess
* the Y likes facial hair, but not too much
* the Y is best-represented in celeb culture by EZRA KOENIG of VAMPIRE WEEKEND (see: above photo)

IF YOU ARE A Y KNOW THIS:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE

WE ARE EVERYWHERE
WE JUST DON’T FLAUNT OUR PRESENCE

Y FOR LIFE

Oh, hello. I got new shoes. They are bright green suede, as you can see. Also, they are boat shoes. Can you imagine?? Green suede boat shoes. I suspect however that they are completely useless on a boat because water is not friendly to suede. But really, why are boat shoes meant for boats anyway? They slide easily on wet surfaces.

Dan was with me when I bought these. He said they are so me because they are “yacht punk.” I agreed and said, I will start a new movement. He said, you are the movement.

OMG guys, does everyone have their mysterious, fantastical designer horse dress for spring?? This one from Maison Martin Margiela is unfortunately sold out. I should have bought it when Ryan and I found it on sale for just $1500 at NET-A-PORTER.com. I suppose I could go to a local faux Native American craft shop and get the same thing, but would the quality level be the same? Perhaps the MMM version is expensive because they don’t have Native Americans in Europe, and thus without the proper resources their production costs are higher.