Spending Christmas with little baby Morgan (age: 8 months) was fun this year, but I cannot wait for when she’s a toddler and understands the concept of Santa Claus; Ariella and I decided it would be hilarious if we made an example of Jenny one year. She’ll open a gift and it’ll be a rock or a pile of dog shit, and then she’ll cry and shake her fist in the air, shouting “Why was I naughty this year? Why did I hit my mother when she tried to buckle my seatbelt? Why do I keep taking my pants off when my parents have company over?” And Morgan will sit there, wide-eyed and terrified of ever doing anything. It’ll be great.

I realized the other day though that this is like the episode of Arrested Development when George Sr. uses his friend J. Walter Weatherman (and his prosthetic arm) to teach the kids lessons. They always involve the limb flying off and blood going everywhere. Thus Jenny will be our J. Walter Weatherman. (“Oh no! Santa gave me a flaming bag of vomit. Why do I insist on watching Wonder Pets when I know it’s time for my nap?”)

Today we have a guest post from Ali, a “food critic” in DC. JK guys, she’s an actual food critic, she just has questionable opinions. Below is her “review” of White Castle/Harold and Kumar therein go (it’s actually an email she sent me):

“Here’s a little known fact about Harold and Kumar: Because Kal Penn practices Hinduism, he was unable to eat real White Castle burgers in the movie. They had to make him veggie burgers. Now that’s some good acting; I could never pretend a veggie burger (or any other meat burger for that matter) was as delicious as a White Castle burger. You can eat one and still taste it days later when you burp.

People usually make fun of me for liking White Castle. But then I remind them that I’m a food critic and therefore have some credibility. Though my only credibility really is having grown up a fat kid.”

Editor’s note: Ali has asked that her last name not be used, for fear of being linked to this review. I believe this means she is embarrassed by her stance on White Castle burgers. Also, I don’t think she understands how Google works. People have to actually visit your web page in order for it to show up in search results.

The trailer for the upcoming Wolverine movie is circulating, and (lamentably) it appears that the titular character is frequently clothed. This displeases me for reasons stated in the previous post. So will Wolverine ever be shirtless, aside from the totally hot underwater torture scene??? OK, he apparently fights in a tank top a lot, but that’s so obvious. Mine and Jackie’s concept for a movie with the premise that Hugh Jackman does just normal things—”like play Soduku” (Normyle, Nov 2008)—but in a tank top, was overlooked. The world wants to see Wolverine at a Whole Foods in a skimpy wifebeater. This is not a difficult formula to figure out. It would be a cheaper movie too.

I promise I’m not making this blog about Wolverine. It is about Hugh Jackman though.